Terse Systems

There is something to be said for having a clear field and plenty of runway.

For the first time in… oh, ever… I think I finally have a place where I can really get some good work done.

So given a canvas and provided the opportunity to fill it in, I must circumscribe myself. I have to take baby steps. I have to make sure each step is done well and provides a good foundation before I start reaching. I have to be patient. I have to be humble. I have to be willing to backtrack and see where I’ve missed a bit. And most importantly, I have to make sure that what I am doing serves the greater good of the team – if I think it rocks but everyone hates it, it’s de facto no good.

I’ve bought a bunch of books. I’m not reading them because they may give me ideas I don’t want in my head. I don’t want blue sky right now. I want horizon.

I now have a job where I can go home every day. A full time job. Where I don’t clock in and out, and I don’t fly anywhere.

Just being at home is a luxury. The small joy of collapsing into the beanbag and watching the Daily Show. Seeing the sun rise over City Hall.

More than that though. I can drive my own car. I can wear jeans all week. I can make plans knowing I can dig files and information out of the bottom of the cabinet at short notice. I can go out on Friday nights.

But it’s the small things that matter most. When I was first finding my feet, I would come home to bad milk, stale bread and cold coffee with mold growing in it. I got the hang of it. Soon the house was piled with small cardboard boxes; the disposable product of disposable meals.

I cooked my own dinner last night. I made bread. It was still warm this morning.

I stopped at Safeways and bought perishable food. Plums. Avocados. Real, honest to god grapefruit juice. Just the sheer act of wandering the food court was a luxury.

There’s eggs in the fridge, and dishes in the sink. There are crumbs on the countertop.

There are flowers in a vase on the kitchen table.